Latest entries
CANDY CRUSH IS A HELLUVA DRUG.

CANDY CRUSH IS A HELLUVA DRUG.

It started with my mom. She was in town visiting and looking for a game to play on her new Kindle. She’s in her mid-sixties and her doctor told her that at her age she should play games to keep her mind stimulated. The last time she visited it was crossword puzzles. This time it...
BLACK FACE. BLUE EYES.

BLACK FACE. BLUE EYES.

My mother always told me with a hint of disappointment, that my brother had hazel eyes when he was born, and then after a day, they changed to brown. She swore they were the same color as my uncle who had what she calls “Paul Newman eyes.” The way she tells it, women couldn’t resist...
I GOT MY LIPS DONE IN A HARLEM APT.

I GOT MY LIPS DONE IN A HARLEM APT.

My fascination with lips began around 10 years old when I met Rachael at summer camp. Rachael had beautiful skin the color of cinnamon and the plumpest, prettiest top lip I had ever seen. Until then, lips were only noticed if they seemed too big for a person’s face, and usually that meant the person...
BIG GIRL PANTIES

BIG GIRL PANTIES

It was the worst pain of my life. Think electrocution. Every 10 seconds. My body was vibrating like one of those phone pagers from back in the day. I stood in the middle of the floor taking deep slow breaths, leaning on my husband. At its worse, I thought I would die. Apparently my mother...
AMERICAN AFRICAN

AMERICAN AFRICAN

I drank the African kool-aid early. I must have been around ten years old when I saw Roots for the first time, but the effect on me… Kunta left me defenseless against anything that Africa was selling. In him I saw a warrior, a King.  And when he held his newborn daughter Kizzy up to...
BAD HAIR

BAD HAIR

“N. A. P. P. Y.” said my grandmother to her friend, as she struggled to get a comb through my hair. The woman, who like my grandmother was so light that she could almost pass for white, chuckled and nodded in agreement. Sensing that something was fishy, six-year-old me spelled the letters back. N. A....
FLAT BOOTY

FLAT BOOTY

“If you stand against the wall, we don’t know where the wall ends and your ass begins!” said my “best friend” from elementary school, making me the butt of her jokes once again. At the time I was a chunky girl whose weight went directly to my stomach, which was always bigger than my hips,...
HAPPY

HAPPY

Ever look for happiness? Happiness is that easy lay. It’s the drunk girl at the bar that can’t wait to go home with you. It’s like 100 orgasms if you let a bunch in at once. But if you’re a little frigid, let it seep in a little bit at a time. Whatever you like...
THE GREATEST!

THE GREATEST!

I was at my brother’s house the other day going through some stuff he had in storage for me when I came across an old box of modeling pictures. What struck me beyond the shock of how innocent I looked back then was that many of the pictures were good. I mean, really good. Now, anyone...
TYRANNY OF THE ONE DROP RULE

TYRANNY OF THE ONE DROP RULE

The blogosphere was set aflame this past week when Keyshia Cole went on BET talking about she was bi-racial. Now anyone who may have followed her reality show on BET a few years ago knows that she does not know who her real father is because her mom, a recovering addict, got around. Therefore, it...
DRAMA MAMA: PART I

DRAMA MAMA: PART I

I met him on the dance floor while droppin’ it like it was hot to Luke Skywalker’s ‘Doo Doo Brown’. Not the most romantic scene but, hey, this is real life. It wasn’t just his good looks that threw my two-step out of rhythm, or the way he leaned so close to my ear when...
DRAMA MAMA: PART II

DRAMA MAMA: PART II

PREVIOUSLY ON B**CHES BREW…A girl meets the guy of her dreams and it causes her to take a trip down memory lane to reflect on all the men who filled her life with so much drama. She enters therapy and realizes for the first time that her addiction to men who aren’t good for her...